Lock me up and throw away the key. This mama got her first speeding ticket today. On her own street. With her kid in the car. Watch out Britney, I'm right behind you!
Seriously, I was just driving along, not feeling like I was in a rush or anything. As I turned the curve of the street, two men in uniforms and on motorcycles were waiting with what I swear were smiles on their faces. They waved on the van in front of me and ordered me to pull over. I tapped my chest, asking, "Me?" as if I were being chosen for a kickball team in gym class. I was shocked.
"Do you know the speed limit around here?" Umm...30 sounds good to me. (Honestly that's what I thought it was. Turns out it was 25.) "You were going 36 and following way too close to the car in front of you who was going the speed limit. That's why you had to slam on your breaks." I didn't recall slamming my breaks, but whatever you say, officer. I felt shame wash over me as I said, "I'm sorry." I thought being extra nice might help me out, but this guy had it in for me from the minute we made eye contact.
Now, I didn't do too well in high school physics and maybe my PhD whiz friend A can help me out here, but I swear I remember this exact question from Mr. K's class. If was allegedly going 36 and tailgating and the man in front of me was allegedly going 25 (the speed limit) wouldn't I have hit him instead of continue to follow him? So something is wrong. Either the van in front was not going the speed limit and he got off scott-free, but this made the officer's story make me more sound worse, or his radar was wrong.
I felt like an idiot that this happened. J thought it was fantastic. As I was pulling my license out, he was yelling, "Peesman Peesman Hi!" as if I had just brought someone over to play.
Since I've never been pulled over, I didn't know what happens. Turns out in Texas, you have 30 days to appear before a judge. You need to contact the judge to discuss a few things like whether you will plead guilty and pay the fine, plead not guilty and go to trial, plead guilty or no contest and take defensive driving and maybe get it wiped from your record. The offices were closed when this happened so I have to wait until tomorrow to figure out my fate. I'm thinking the latter will be the easiest. Maybe I'll hire one of those sleezy attorneys and get a trial date. Not. For those who maybe interseted, there are all sorts of books you can order off the internet about how to beat any speeding ticket.
So for today, be ashamed that you know me. I'm bad people. And believe me, now I'm driving like a granny, which is tough for a girl who grew up on Long Island.
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