Thursday, May 19, 2011

Gym Rant

I rarely complain on this blog; mostly it's all about my wonderful children and our wonderful, perfect life. But sometimes, I get so irritated by other people and I just keep it to myself. Well, I needed to vent today because there were just too many things bugging me.

1. Dear Gym lady with the fake boobs, fake hair, and standing right in the front row,
You were at Body Combat class today, not Do Whatever You Feel Like Doing class. While everyone else was jabbing and crossing, you were jumping and spinning. You also pulled your shirt over your boobs during the abs sequence so you could stare at yourself. Obviously, you like yourself, but we all don't have to love you. Please stand in the back or just do what everybody else does! Thank you!

2. Dear Other Gym Lady,
Yes, you, the one who was so into class that you started practically barking like a dog on a conga line. I totally get it when people are working so hard and they really feel like they are punching something so they let out a great big, "Hi-yah!" or they grunt a lot. But making a sound that goes something like this, "Woof Woof! Oof oof!" does not fit the bill. For close to 30 minutes. I think it's time for you to go on a cruise and get this conga line thing out of your system.

3. Dear Other Gym Lady (this actually happened on Tuesday)
Yes, I do come to this class often. I'm sorry that you've gained 10-15 lbs in the past few months and that you have 4 kids and you are a teacher, but do you have to tell me all of this while completely standing in my personal space and all but kissing me on the lips? Despite my best efforts to back away, you just kept creeping closer and closer to tell me your story. I'm sure you're a very nice person, but BACK UP!!!

4. Dear Gym Lady on the Phone talking loud enough to make her point in front of everyone,
It really was sweet of you to take your first grade daughter out of school yesterday and take her to a local arcade/miniature golf place instead. You truly have your educational priorities in order and must simply have forgotten that summer vacation begins in Texas on May 28, only a mere 9 days away. Good for you for complaining to the management that there were too many teenagers there because your first grader totally should have been playing those shooting games instead.

That was fun. Thanks for listening. I promise we'll be back to our normal programmed blogging soon!


rb said...

thanks for my LOL of the day. hilarious.

Scarlet Lily said...

HA! Sorry about all the crazies at the gym but it makes for blog gold, this was awesome :)

die Frau said...

Oh, can't make that stuff up. Rant away!

Beth said...

Well, if that isn't enough to keep me from the gym...thanks for providing my newest excuse!