I used to work with a guy who had a sign outside his office that read, "Some days you're the pigeon, other days the statue." I always chuckled when I saw this sign, but I could never quite remember the phrase when I wanted to mention it to someone. Yesterday, it came back very clearly. Yesterday I was a statue.
We were in the grocery store stocking up after returning from our trip. I wanted to make one last scan down the dairy aisle to look at the label of some yogurt they were offering for free with a cereal purchase. I read the label and put the yogurt in the cart. As I did that, I scanned up at J because I realized he had been awfully quiet. And any other mama out there knows that quiet is toddler code for trouble.
The trouble came in the form of two eggs. He had already cracked one over himself and was contemplating what to do with the next one. I asked, "J what are you doing?!" in my not so happy mommy tone and muttered/whispered "Oh crap" under my breath as I looked up to heaven. This was just great. J heard my mutter (he hears EVERYTHING!) and yelled, "Crap, crap, crap crap! Crap eggs!" What he meant to say was "cracked eggs" but it wasn't coming out right. I learned that later when he was retelling the story to me.
We quickly went to find a place to wipe off (I didn't know where the bathroom was since I don't make it a habit of knowing where they are in grocery stores.) One of the sample ladies gave us all her napkins and some wet paper towels. I cleaned him up as he continued to tell everyone, "Crap eggs." Nobody really seemed to notice what he was saying because I was hushing him a bunch, but I am sure somebody told my story to their spouse at dinner last night and commented on my parenting skills.
Yes, I am laughing about this after the fact. Yes, it was another innocent moment of exploration. My dad said it's all my fault because I actually talk to my kid and explain everything to him so he probably remembered cracking some eggs with me into some cookie mix or something and thought it would be fun to do it himself.
The part of the story will make you say, "Awwww" came when we were in the car. I was buckling J into his carseat and reminding him not to put his hands in his mouth until we could wash them at home. He said, "Mommy-mad- at- J." I said, "Well, mommy was not too happy this happened. But I know it was an accident and you are sorry." He said, "I-so-dee- Mommy." Ok, I'll gladly be the statue again for such sweetness.
Here's hoping that you have more time as pigeons (not that you should do what pigeons do to anyone; I think it just means they are a happy bird in the metaphor) and less time as statues this weekend!